Starbucks and the Booze Business

There’s been lots of press (WSD among others) about Starbucks testing a concept in Seattle to sell wine and beer in a store location to be named 15th Avenue Coffee and Tea.

Presumably, if the concept works they will roll it nationally. And if they put spirits on the menu it’s fun to think about what these “bars” might be like.

So, borrowing a page from David Letterman, here are my top 10 reasons I won’t be having a drink (other than coffee) at a Starbuck bar/café:

10. Can’t see myself saying, “I’ll have another please barista-keep.”

9. The new drink sizes called “buzzed,” “blitzed” and “I love you man.”

8. Drinks like the Seattle Slammer made with Frappuccino, Starbuck Cream Coffee Liqueur and Puget Sound Vodka.

7. PIA, the instant Whiskey powder.

6. Martinis served in recycled paper cups with caff/decaf and other shot options.

5. Iced Chai Latte with a shot of Sochu.

4. Bar food choices like oatmeal, hummus and veggies and apple bran muffins.

3. Scotch from Kenya, Costa Rica, Sumatra and Pike Place.

2. You line up to order and wait for the staff to stop talking about their date last night and for the customer ahead of you to search for money. Then you wait again for the drink, complain that they got it wrong and leave in disgust vowing never to come back.

1. The thought of a 90 proof soymilk shot with a beer chaser makes me want to gag.

Okay, okay…so I’ll keep my day job.

Care to offer any reasons of your own?

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1 comment

  1. On a serious note, I love the smell of coffee. I roll into my ‘Bucks of choice nearly every morning and am raptured by the aroma of fresh pressed espressos and constantly dripping brews. I don’t know about you, but I have found that even the finest bars still smell like stale booze in the morning. I’m not sure how excited I am to find out how the scent fresh brewed java mixes with sour beer and wine fumes. Really? Is this a good idea? I’m REALLY curious to see how this plays out. I remember when a top Starbucks exec. wasn’t happy with how the smell of the bacon in the breakfast sandwiches made the the stores smell…

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