“Bartender, I’d like a hummer.”

What’s in a name?

A clever, memorable call name for a drink is what makes that drink popular. Where would Seagram’s Seven be without a 7 and 7 or, Peach Schnapps without the Fuzzy Navel?

Here’s one for the books.

drink9f-1-webFour middle-aged women are out for their every other week ladies night out. They are feeling a bit adventurous this particular evening and are chatting about what to have when the server walks up to their table.

Let’s listen in:

Server: Hi ladies. Can I offer you something to drink?

Lady #1: A glass of chardonnay would be nice.

Lady # 2: (To the group) You know what, girls? I’m going to have a chocolate martini. I’m in that kind of mood.

Lady #1: Great idea… please change my drink to that.

Lady #3: Do you have any of that Rum Chata?

Server: No, I’m afraid not.

Lady #3: Then I’ll just have sex-on-the-beach.

(They all laugh. The server smiles and says) Perfect choice for a cold winter night in Detroit. And you, ma’am?

Lady #4: I want a hummer.

All: A what?

Lady #4: What’s the matter? My friend Louise says her husband begs her for a hummer and I thought I would try one.

Lady #3: Isn’t a hummer a car? How do you go from that to a drink?

Server: (He has become very uncomfortable.) Uh, um, uh, ma’am do you know what a hummer is?

Lady #4: What do you mean? It’s a drink…right?

Server: I suppose… I’ll check with the bartender, but a hummer is also a car… and something that…uh, well something that men really enjoy.

Lady #4: Fiddle sticks. I’d like a hummer.

(The server leaves, goes to the bartender and says) You won’t believe this Sally… I need one sex on the beach, two chocolate martinis and, um, well, don’t get angry, a hummer. Lady at that table says she really needs a hummer.

Bartender: Take your mind out of the gutter! A hummer is a drink born in Detroit that includes rum, Kahlua, ice cream, some ice and all blended together.

Server: Oh.

For those of you who have missed the nuisances of the story, go here.

The Hummer
The Hummer

The Hummer 

1-1/2 ounces rum (usually Bacardi)

1-1/2 ounces Kahlúa

2 scoops vanilla ice cream

A couple ice cubes

Blend and serve in a 7-1/2-ounce rocks glass.

 

As for other meanings of the term “hummer” check with Cosmopolitan Magazine.

(Based on a true event.)  

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Selecting a Wine for Thanksgiving

A husband and wife are walking back and forth in the wine section just before Thanksgiving. They are obviously having a hard time deciding what to buy.

wine shop 2

Wine makingAt a different time and place somewhere in the world, the owners of a vineyard have worried about the harvest, pressing, Wine making 2fermentation, testing, blending, fining, filtration, bottling and dozens of other things the vintner and owners are concerned about. They taste, refine and taste again. On and on it goes until they are satisfied. A great wine is born.

At the same time, the marketing and sales people are concerning themselves with the name, packaging and brand identity. They fuss over the label; they agonize about the back label copy; they pray for good reviews.

We now return to the retail shop where this wine is on the shelf. Our consumer couple is staring blankly at the shelves. We eavesdrop on their conversation:

He: What difference does it make? Pick one.

She: I’m confused. Should we pick it by price? Or, based on these little cards with ratings?

He: I don’t know. Price doesn’t always mean anything. Do you know what the Johnsons like?

She: No idea. Let’s ask the sales guy.

He: Are you kidding? Does he look like he knows anything about wine? I might ask him about beer but… It’s like asking for directions. Forget it. Let’s decide ourselves.

She: How about this one? It’s a cute name.

He:  Dancing Elves? Looks more like Fornicating Elves to me.

She: If it were up to you, you’d probably pick Farting Bears.

He: Okay. Enough. Just pick one.

She: I got it. Look at this bottle. It’s all in earth tones. Marge’s dining room décor is orange, yellow and brown — this one will match her table setting!

He: Great. Let’s go. The game starts soon.

Somewhere in the world there is the sound of gunfire. Another vintner has blown his brains out.

vintner shooing himself

(This posting originally appeared on December 10, 2010. I thought it appropriate for the season. By the way, it is my 200th posting.)

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Sweet Potato Vodka – More than just for Thanksgiving

COV_Bottle_web

“The Best Yam Vodka on Earth,” is the slogan for Covington Vodka from North Carolina.

It might not replace Granny’s sweet potato pie at the Thanksgiving dinner, but you could enjoy the dish and the meal a bit more.

The driving force behind this handcrafted entry in the cluttered vodka market is Jim Eason, a seasoned veteran of the spirits and wine world. Jim’s travels have taken him from retailer to distributor to manufacturer with a stop along the way to work with SKYY Vodka, back when it was just a start-up brand.

Jimbo, as his friends know him, says this about Covington:

“After giving it a great deal of thought and talking to my farmer friends, we decided to create a great vodka from the fruits of our labor, so to speak. Sweet potatoes make an excellent vodka – and why not – folks have been making potato vodka for over 300 years.”

Turns out that North Carolina is the number one producer of sweet potatoes in the US and accounts for over 50% of what we consume. Covington uses 20 pounds of the vegetable in each 750 ML and is made in small batches from locally grown product.

If you’re expecting sweet or funky tasting vodka, forget it. It’s smooth and has some interesting undertones. It won a Gold Medal this year at the San Francisco Spirits Competition.

For more about Covington Gourmet Vodka go here.

I wonder if Granny would mind if I poured some into her dish?

sweet potatoes

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